Forgive Us Our Tresspasses

…As We Forgive Those Who Tresspass Against Us….

I was born poor, raised poor and lived my life trying to get out of a poor man’s miseries engulfed by the obvious shortage of everything. I grew up in a neighborhood where living is a daily struggle to have something on the table to eat…not three times a day but at least once a day. We brushed our teeth using salt instead of a regular toothpaste and most of the time took a bath using “Ajax” -the cheapest and the most popular laundry soap during our time. 

In a child’s mind, being  poor is  humiliation. I remember covering my face with a handkerchief when someone from school sees me mixing concrete on a pavement or walking four(4) kilometers from school to our home. I may say today that there is nothing wrong about being poor but maybe it is because I am not poor anymore. Yet, maybe, poverty is indeed humiliating.

I was so happy when I got my first decent shoes. I was always wearing worn out shoes from my cousins, sometimes too big and sometimes too small,  and I was so happy when my auntie susan gave me fifty pesos one christmas. I was crying in excitement when I bought those shoes despite spending my lifetime savings of fifteen pesos because the cheapest shoes available then are for sixty five pesos. On that day we were not able to cook rice for dinner. Because my father was expecting me to buy rice with auntie susan’s gift. But I needed those shoes in school. We were running in our P.E. classes and the blisters in my feet were killing me.

It is this experience and a lot more similar that gave me the instict  to fight back all sorts of opposition in my life, whether verbal, mental, emotional or physical. It is and it was a survival instict. But after a while, after I have done damages, i realized that my actions are not appropriate. I hurt a lot of people in trying to justify my actions…to prove I am not the one at fault…or and maybe to boast that I am perfect and cannot be wrong.

There are also those people who had pushed me to the edges. I never showed them my anger but I had my fury executed silently and unnoticed. 

I felt the need for confession, recentment and humility about two years ago. It was difficult for me because of the grief that i suffered so intensely and  the humiliation that I have endured. Nonetheless, I humbly ask for  forgiveness from those whom I had caused pains and troubles the same way I am extending forgiveness today to those who caused me aches, anguish and maybe ruined my life in certain ways. The time for healing has come, I guess. Letting go of all of these will set as free from distress and everything else. 

To this date I have sent about a hundred pairs of shoes to the Philippines for those who need them in the neighborhood where I lived. This year, maybe, I will bring or send more for both my former enemies and friends.  These shoes are specifically for those who cannot go to school or work  without them. Because I was once humiliated for not having shoes in school. Because from now on I want to be an instrument of hope…that everything was not made to last forever…that life is not about being rich or being poor…because life is simply a journey to a better life in heaven….because life is all about caring for everybody..forgiving and loving…

Loving you and loving me….

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One Response to “Forgive Us Our Tresspasses”

  1. grace tiglao canlas Says:

    friend i love this one…pa share ne…thanks

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