Archive for the ‘Stories from the PAST’ Category

Pasan Ko’y Mga Tigidig

April 3, 2011

(the author was awarded POET of the year in 1990 by Holy Angel University in the 2nd literary awards sponsored by its Office of Student Affairs. Though this is not one of the poem collection, this poem became popular and was adapted by ESTUDYANTE, a popular student publication in Metro Manila, Philippines)

I

Sumpa ng mistisong bayawak na kamukha ko na yata

Bakit mga tigidig naglipana sa ‘king mukha

Ito ba’y pag-ibig o allergy lang kaya

Napakamalas ko naman at sa mukha pa tumama

II

Lansangang bako-bako sa hitsura ko ang turing

Mukhang di malaman kung landscape o bulubundukin

Laging pinapansin at pakutyang pipiliin

Alin ang arayat o kaya’y ang Mount Makiling

III

Wala na bang gamot na babago sa aking hitsura

Wala na bang pag-asa mukha kong parang papel de liha

Pano ako ngayon magkakaroon ng balentina

Sa mukha kong ito na parang tinadtad ng bala

IV

Kung sino ka man na sa tula ko ngayo’y bumabasa

Pasan kong mga tigidig sa’yo sana ay mapunta

Dahil sa pakiwari ko ikaw ngayo’y tumatawa

At laway mo’y tumutulo, hoy punasan mo muna

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immortality

February 24, 2010

Ending is inevitable for every beginning. Every journey, and everything else I suppose, has to culminate, dwindle and die naturally. Not even our own lives are spared by this reality. A reality that is sustaining all existence on the earth – a continuous cycle of birth, death and birth again. The other giving way to sustain the life of another.

As we were created to be dependent on oxygen, the same oxygen that we have taken from the air and keep us alive will kill us bit by bit by destroying our cells resulting to aging.  Yes, we were born to die. Up to now, no scientist had decoded the secret behind this vulnerability of our protein cells to oxygen. Bill Gates is spending his fortune funding researches to prevent aging. At present, he his taking more than 200 anti-oxidant pills everyday to decelerate the aging process of his body.  But immortality was never part of God’s plan. Not even all the gold in the world can stop a person from dying sooner or later.

What is the point of being alive then if we are sure to die anyway?

When I was a kid my father kept on reminding all of us that life is a single chance of showing who we are, what are we made of, and what we can become. It is a series of test of loyalty to God. Challenges were not meant to be the same for each and everyone. The poor battles different war as the rich does.  The famous confront problems bigger than themselves. We cannot compare situations. In other words, when we do not have anything to eat, we must endure. It is part of the tests and the obscure process of life itself …blah…blah…blah….

Yes, I was always certain that it was an excuse but it made us unbreakable by life’s miseries and grief. Yet, even life is a test many people refuse to end it. There are those who intend to have themselves cloned and when the time to die is inevitable, they will have their memories transferred to their clones in the hope to continue life. There is an organization that freezes the bodies of members with terminal case of illnesses. When the time the cures for such illnesses were discovered, they will revive and cure them. As if the travel is never enough.

But life is a single journey broken down into countless pieces of endings and beginnings. There are losses of dear ones which are part of those fragments of life’s start-end narrations. Although my father had died and buried last year, I am conditioning my mind that he is still in his room waiting for my morning greetings before going to work. This is how I fight my own battle. Because when my first relationship has ended, I was not sure if I can bear another round of heartaches as I could not almost accept changing the way I see where life has to go – not loving and betrayed by someone you trusted your life with.

When I started my journey at HAU, as an instructor thirteen years ago, I intend to mold my students the way my late father has molded me. Because I am sure I was well taught and well shaped against the fictitious fairness of life. I intend to lead the youth to where their lives supposed to go. Regardless of what life as a teacher would give me, my wife and my children, I am determined to let the young be free of mistakes that a lifetime cannot right. But like life itself…this has to end.  I know I am leaving a journey that I cannot travel again in this lifetime. I have to choose between going and staying and because parents work for the children, leaving for a greener pasture is always a better choice whatever is out there waiting for all of us.

Perhaps this complication of life has taught people to seek for immortality because we learn through experience most of the time. Learning requires mistakes that cannot be changed so suddenly. So we hurt. We suffer. If my leaving is a mistake then there is only one thing I would pray for each night that I see my children grieve because of what I have done today…

IMMORTALITY. No more, no less.