Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

FAREWELL HONORIANS

March 12, 2014

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Well I guess this is goodbye. After those seemingly endless moments of love and hate that we cannot control in our desire to mould you into what we think is best, here we are again, destined to be abandoned by those we learned to love and consider as our own.

This is what I hate about teaching. After finally learning to care for the persons and give your all to open their eyes to the world outside, it always lead to goodbye and overtones of sadness in the joyous environment of their success.

So what else can I do but leave a final peek of the realities of life to those I cared so much and will be leaving us with only the foot steps that they left behind on the corridors of what they used to call home.

GOODLUCK AND REMEMBER…

YOU CAN DO WHAT OTHERS CAN. If you can eat what they can eat, drink what they can, then there is a level battlefield. You can learn what they can. You can achieve higher grounds if you will wish and dream for it. They are also humans. They are not gods. You can outdo anyone and everyone if you so desire.

DO NOT STOP BELIEVING. You can become what you want to become. Dreaming does not cost you anything so do not deny yourself of an elegant dream for the future. Aim high and dream high. Believe in yourself before others will learn to believe in you. It is you who set the boundaries of what yourself can and cannot do. So make yourself exceptional, extra-ordinary, amazing and unbelievably superb because I BELIEVE IN YOU.

THE RIGHT TIME IS NOW. If there is a mountain that needs to be climbed, a journey that needs to be conquered the first stride of your feet should be done right now. The next eight months will be the most crucial days of your lives. It will draw your future so give it your best fight. It is more than half of your lives so there is no room for mistakes.

This game is not the survival of the best but it is the game of the most persistent. Make or break. TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIVES.

BUILD YOUR PRIDE!

LET’S GET IT ON CE GRADUATES

March 11, 2014

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There are those who live their lives as it flows, unmindful of what an obscured past can do to a future that can chain so many loved ones to a bitter rendezvous.

But there are those who choose to carry on a good fight of the present and instigate a well curved future for those who pray and hope for a better perspective of tomorrow…parents..siblings…and children that are yet to be born.

There are those who just let things happen to escape the reality of poverty and the grief of insufficiency of finances, love and affection.

But then again, there are those who fight even when fighting causes a deeper wound and bite the oppressing finger of those who make things difficult in life’s battle arena.

I have seen these two different people among the 1,514 CE students in DHVTSU. And I am sure I was brought in this place by circumstances directed by the Lord Almighty to bear witness and do something to make things a little different. Level the battlefield by the gift of words and the gift of encouragement to push everyone to their limits…when hope does not shine anymore…and when loving and caring seems to be a joke and never existed even from the beginning…

I am here to stand as a living testimony of victory over poverty and insufficiency…of hope…love…and care. You are what you think you are and you become what you think you can become.

There is no force in this universe greater than your creator. When God created the earth, He used words to let exist all things except you. Because when He created man, He used his own hands to curve you into his own likeness. You are special. You can become what you wish you will be.

You were born champions. Because you pushed your way to the womb against half million competitors. I cannot find any reason for you to fail because there is no doubt that hard work is better than talent. And poverty makes you invincible. Because becoming a civil engineer is your only way out.

Let’s get it on CE graduates of DHVTSU. Redeem yourselves. NOW IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE.

GO OUT THERE AND MAKE US PROUD.

 

WHO YOU ARE

August 19, 2013

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They never really know who you really are. Because if they do, life would never had been this way. Or perhaps, they never wanted to understand. Maybe because, they are expecting too much. Or they wanted the fulfillment of their expectations… for their own glory and pride.

Everyone would like to be the most intelligent. They cannot differentiate intelligence and cleverness anymore. Because if they do, they would respect each other’s decisions…look after each other’s welfare…work in harmony…and live their lives as you have exemplified…Loving thy neighbors as loving thy own self.

They cannot really understand why you chose to be laid down on hays instead of a grand cradle made of gold and silver. Because they wanted you to live as they are living…so others could say that they do as you did…

They wanted your blessings yet they cannot wait. But when it is there in front of them, they never considered it as coming from you because it is below their expectations. They asked for miracles but they cannot accept that miracle is a step by step occurrence.

They wanted instant relief of pain when pain itself is the process of healing.

They never really know you. Because if they do they will not forget that despite of your sacrifices and love for all of us… they do, over and over again, what they did to you;

…while you were battling death, they fought for the only possession that you had as a man…

…when you asked them to appease your thirst, they gave you a drink that intensified the pain that you felt…

…while you were gasping for your breath and asked for the forgiveness of your merciless murderers they pierce your body with a sphere because what you did is hypocrisy in the eyes of your so loved enemies.

They don’t know who you really are. Even how much pretention they show and words that they let go to manifest how you are to them is only foolishness to you and to the rest of us who suffer for their selfishness and stupidity.

They don’t know that whatever they do to the least of your brethren…They are doing it unto you…

FORGIVE THEM MY LORD…THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

FOR JOMEL

July 26, 2013

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I have long waited to write this message and I have assumed that the right time had come.

                I have preferred a written message like this rather than a verbal one because it takes a lot of courage and emotional stability to retell something that I never wished to recall. And this way, whatever detail that is worth to be remembered can be retold by this writings… even at times when I am not here anymore.

                You are in hell on earth. Every circumstance, every moment and eventuality in your life right now are all add ups to the loads and problems that are brutally tearing you apart. All people, including those who are close to you, are not helping in easing things up but are making them worse by adding to the insults and pains. For all of them, your attempts to escape even for just a while are but foolishness. They never had felt the pain yet as if they carry part of it. They never stood there with you yet as if they know how hard it is to continue. Perhaps they need to see a bloodshed before realizing and understanding that you can take it no more.

                The family problem is a God given trial so you must endure as if the physical and emotional torture is never enough. You don’t have the right to be comfortable simply because you are poor. You do not even have the right to utter the smallest complaints. YES, YOU ARE DOOMED.

                And you are where I was 25 years ago.

                The only difference is I am here. But I cannot fight your fight. I can only take some part and watch you from a distance and tell you the progress of your accomplishments.

                Believe it or not the suffering could end. The desire in your heart to get out of the situation and rebuild your environment into a place of your own design, according to your needs and convenience, should be overwhelming right now. The harder is the toil the sweeter victory becomes. You cannot afford to fail. So many people that are too important in your life will take part of that failure. God gave you the biggest responsibility in the family to lead them out of the hell that poverty creates.

                The irony is that God is letting everything to come into place for a purpose and right now we do not understand why. But I am sure it happens becayse it is supposed to make you a stronger person. Even those who mocked us are actors and actresses of this play that was set up so as to establish the challenges and give us the eagerness to overcome whatever it is that is hurting us.  Again, you cannot fail. Because at the verge of failure, you cannot blame anyone but yourself.

                When I was in your shoe, I held on so tightly. There were days that I never eaten. Months of hard and depressing labor. Yet I refused to break apart. I was mocked too by people whom I thought was with me all along. I was alone but I constantly told myself that soon it would be over and I counted down the days of agony. I kept in my mind that if there is a will, there is certainly a way. The shortage of resources, especially money, never halted my desire to win the battle that I fought not only for myself. Because I knew, my climb to the top will bring along your uncles, your mom, my children …and you.

                Do us all a favor JEM. Pass this damn architecture board exam.

When the Sky Falls

March 20, 2013

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How do you describe something in a plain language when only a metaphor can briefly and accurately explain what was going on.

 

 

 

HAPPINESS

April 5, 2012

HAPPINESS to me is subjective and relative.

Subjective because it is a state of mind. It depends on how we appreciate and accept what we have and what we  don’t have. How we recognize the boundaries between our wants and our needs. And how we accept and believe that justice also means living without some things we deemed important while  others are living abudantly with them.

Relative because the more relatives the merrier. That is what I was told since I was a kid.

I have several accounts of happiness that were vividly imprinted in my memory. It is how i describe happiness. And it is always will be…

It was August of  1976. I was in the second grade when  Dado, my younger brotherwas disturbed by a growing lump in his stomach. He was five years old and was crying almost everyday  because of the pain he cannot bear anymore. My father doesn’t have a job and we cannot afford to bring him to a hospital at that time. But we were forced to rush him to a public hospital because of his complaints of shortening of breath. I was worried because mother was crying when Dado was taken to the operating room. It was horrifying. And I cried  too…  

I was crying because in my young mind I know that life’s hardships was teaching us so early to accept death in cases like this because of poverty. I was crying because I know after the operation, mother will surely be humiliated in trying to come up with the money to pay the doctors and the hospital. I recalled sitting on the steps of the main stair of the hospital while drying the tears in my eyes and looking at mother as she walks away to look for something to eat with just a 20 peso bill in her wallet. That is all we have on that day.  

This is a recollection of happiness because Dado end up okay. We went home with more than 300 pesos in mother’s wallet because some of the neighbors and relatives went to the hospital to give us some money. The hospital bill was taken cared of by one of the doctors.

One monday  in December 1978. Dado was in the first grade. We came home from school  and found out that we do not have anything for dinner. I decided to get some sugarcanes from the field and Dado came along. It was more than a kilometer of walk to the place where they harvest the sugarcanes. So it was dark and was raining when we went back home. Dado  reached home before me because he cannot carry the sugarcanes on his back anymore because the load was too much for him,  not to mention the rain that was so intense. I came back for him and carried his sugarcanes and told him to run back home because mother was so angry looking for him. We were soaking wet and this has made mother much more angry than before. She pulled out a stick and beat me hard that night. And I was crying all the way to sleep.

Again it was a recollection of happiness because when mother thought that I was asleep, she wisphered in my ear that she loves me so much. It was just that we made her so worried. Tears came pouring down my cheeks again and I hugged her so tightly.  

It is this simplicity of the happiness that i have  known that made life bearable and acceptable. For us , living is not a question of justice or the fairness of life. It is always the appreciation of what we have and what we can do to survive each day at a time- one problem at a time.

As I look at our grown family right now I can’t help but look at our past. Despite of having families of our own, we seek each other still when the rain struck us again  on the field. I always find strength everytime my mother tells me she loves me even at this not-so-young age. My brothers and sister make me strive more and more as I dream for them the same kind of life that I have today. And as I look at my wife and kids, I can be anyhting that I want-a HERO and a typical dad that will do all I can and  give  all I can to make them acquire the happiness they deserve.

The happiness I seek  is simply the well being of my family. We may go through a lot of pains  and misunderstanding yet we will be there in the end to battle the trials of life together.  They may hurt me and I may hurt them. Yet, nevertheless, we will remain attached to our pasts and to our beginnings…

That we are each other’s strength…And that we can die for the sake of one another…

In The Name Of My FATHER

November 7, 2011

The quest for superiority over one another is seems to be the nature of being human. Nothing is making us different from an animal. Yet what makes animals better than us is that they are not created to speak their minds. And that makes them less sinner than we are.

The root of all evil is not really money but the mouth. That is why the Lord Jesus emphasized that what really make man sin is mostly not the things that he take into his mouth but everything that comes out of it. Because each word comes from the heart and definitely tells what kind of animal is there inside the person. In other words, what ever you tell people around you manifests how good or evil are you. You don’t have the right to tell anyone or yourself that you are intelligent or kind. Because if you will ask everybody around you, you are simply the ordinary fool that is trying hard to be extra ordinary.

Each of us has a unique life that cannot be compared to anybody. God let us sit in a situation where He can make us all good persons in the process. When we try to stand up and ready to accept change, He suddenly make us realize that we are not alone. We are not the judge of what is happening to somebody else’s life.  Leave everyone else alone and live your own life. You are not there twenty four hours a day and seven days a week with anybody to say what that person should have been done. You cannot conclude base from words coming from a sinful mouth. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT IF YOU CANNOT SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT A PERSON.

My childhood is a kind of life that I never want to live again. My brothers and sister made some different decisions to go over our lives as children as my father gave up to a life he cannot fight or control. I loved him so much but I just can’t agree to his decision to let go of a dream to change our world. They always say it was a fight that we cannot win. I knew deep inside that my father wanted to try but gave up along the way.  But i had my own ideals. As my brothers and sister do. I do not blame them for what they are right now because it is what it is. It is either their choice or they have no choice. I may have caused pains to others especially to my father with the choices that i made but, again, it is what it is. I won the fight and that is all that matters now. And I am sure my father understands me now as he watch us all from heaven.

There is only one way to make this world a better place for all of us. KEEP YOUR OPINION TO YOURSELF AND LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE ALONE!!!! 

 

I Wish HEAVEN

October 21, 2011

Indeed, why must I complain when You already gave Your life for my sake? I never really or want to understand that life here on earth is a prelude to a bigger life there with you in heaven. Maybe I just wanted to enjoy life here right now or maybe it is really my nature to sin. You made the rules simple and yet it is always difficult for me to follow. Love my neighbors and anything that will hurt them is a sin. So simple yet why can’t I follow a damn simple rule.

I complained about the miseries of my life without realizing that these will keep me in touch with you all the time. Maybe this is the reason why I am unhappy because happiness will draw me away from You. I prayed to win the lottery and promise to help those in need but I never realized that everyone of us is praying exactly the same prayer and making the same promise. 

I need not say anymore. All I intend to say right now is I wish to be in heaven and I am carefully thinking of what I must do to be there. Thy will be done then. Just make sure to guide me to heaven and I will adhere to the things that must happen to my life to get there. Please give me the opportunity to show my neighbors that I’d like to give what I have. LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY TO PROVE MY POINT. Thy will be done, my Lord.

The PAINS of GOODBYE

September 15, 2011

How do you accept a future without someone you used to comfortably live your life with? How should you learn to tackle cruel circumstances of your life when you were used to rely mostly on that someone who gave you the courage to face almost anything…bear the hardest pain,… and conquer the toughest fight of your life?

My cousins Ajay, Ivy and Avy lost their dad when Ajay, the eldest, was barely a teenager. It was a lost that was so painful that I cannot forget until this day because of how Ajay cried over his dad’s remains and tita Elvie’s tamed grief accompanied by the constant sheding of painful tears and spoken sorrows overwhelmed by silent yet deafening screams. Ivy and, especially, avy, the youngest,  were so small that they were not fully aware of the realities that were facing them- living without a father and cruising life with barely enough money to build their own future. It was a tragedy. And it was horrible.

But auntie Elvie was the strongest woman I have ever known because she had manage to perform the role of a mother and a father for Ajay, Ivy and Avy. She stood as firm as a man to help her three beautiful children cross the cruelties of the circumstance  and live the extra-ordinary life that destiny has brought to all of them. The future that was so blunt was made the brightest for them by auntie Elvie, third to the youngest sister of my late father.

I have not much memories for auntie Elvie and my cousins. Not much but the memories I keep on the back of my mind with them are probably the best with regards to relatives encounters and reunions. Tito Arnold, their late father, was a friend to me instead of an uncle. He used to give me good advices on how to handle events and situations during those difficult days of our lives. Auntie Elvie took over on giving those advices as tito Arnold died unexpectedly. Tita Elvie remained the coolest tita that we had in my father’s side as far as I can remember. Ajay, Ivy and Avy remained distant to us as they live equally distant in Villamor Airbase in Metro Manila, about 90 kilometers or so from Pampanga. But everytime we meet in regular reunions, Ajay, Ivy and Avy were always the sweetest cousins that we can have in a group.

A month ago, auntie Elvie went to a coma and died gradually leaving Ajay, Ivy and Avy now parentless. I had always believed that God is a God of justice. Her death is her reward for such a good work raising three wonderful kids. She can now be with tito Arnold in heaven and look over their children from way up there. Avy is in her last year in college. Ivy is now a registered nurse and Ajay is engage to be married to an equally wonderful lady.

Death is always painful and horrible as it comes. But in the end, death will always be God’s will as it is for the common good of those who will be left behind. I do not know how it works with Ajay, Ivy and Avy right now. All I am aware of is that they were devastated by the lost and hurt so much. 

When my daughter died 15 years ago I cursed everyone and even God. As if the bitterness was endless and the pain was so deep. But now that I think of it, I just smile and thank God for everything and whisper in a prayer to tell my little girl how much her daddy loves her…and missed her. I cry sometimes but it’s alright. I have to have faith. Because I am so sure that God always knows what His doing…

My Amazing GOD

August 22, 2011

I cannot thank you enough for the things you have done and keep on doing to me and my family right now. Since the day i decided to leave everything about this life under your guidance and care, nothing had gone wrong anymore. This life has gone out of control a couple of years back and the moment i surrendered it all to You, You just kept on making me amazed with mini-miracles of all sorts. And today, i cannot believe how you turn hopelessness into something that i never even imagine that i will be in ever in this lifetime.   

I am constantly asking myself what did i do to deserve this kind of treatment from You. If everyone else received such love and compassion as i did, i am so sure that no one will ever sin again so easily. No one will be in despair and this world will be a better place for everyone.